Rules for Road Race Attire

Now that the summer 5K season has settled in here in Boston, I’ve developed a few rules for attire to be worn at local road races.

On the topic of shirts: Much like shirt wearing at concerts, there are several things that must be taken into consideration or done when wearing shirts at local road races. First off, you do not – I repeat, DO NOT – wear the shirt that was given to you at the expo, sign in, or bib pick up. Some may argue it’s because you haven’t earned the right to wear that until you cross the finish line. Me? I just think it’s gauche.

Always wear a race shirt that’s for a race that’s longer in distance than the one you are currently running. This says a few things: 1) that this ain’t your first rodeo and that 2) Even if it’s your worst race, you (and everyone else) know you’re capable of more. For reference– At a 5K, wear a 10K. At a 10K, wear a half marathon. Half Marathon, marathon shirt or 24/200 relay race shirt such as Reach The Beach, Hood to Coast, and sure, Ragnar. At a marathon, done an ultra?-wear your belt buckle.

Shorts: The shorter the better. For men, this means booty shorts. It’s a psyche out move, the less inseam you have, the faster they’ll think you’re going to run.

Singlets: Best left for those repping teams.

Those that run shirtless: I’m convinced this is for two types of people, insecure scrawny cross country runners and jacked dudes who prance in the sunhine so they can watch their chest jiggle. Just shake your head and judge them.

Do not wear a tri-suit. I know this is in the same vein as one-upping with t-shirts. But. Just don’t.

Any other suggestions? Feel free to send them my way!

These shorts say, “you don’t even know.”

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About Graham Runs Boston

Bostonian running around Boston. Team RaceMenu distance runner. Oyster appreciator, beer lover, outside all the time when I can, loosely pursuing a BQ
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